The Tea Shop Diaries

Y O Y O Y O Y O Y can I .t update my blog regularly.

2010-06-21T11:07:00.002+01:00

I'm gonna start updating every week. Probably on Monday mornign after I have had an awesome weekend I reckon, before I start work properly, instead of just 'dicking about' for the first hour of the day.

So I have given myself these topics for me to write about:

1. My gardening adventures (hold onto your hat adrenalin fans)

2. My job (which has been pretty successful in the last year)

3. Married life (in which I pretend to be an amazing housewife, when really I am EXACTLY the same as I was before we got married.)

4. Some trips and things we do at the weekend, like walking up MOUNTAINS.

So, later I shall start with my gardening blog.

WTS

(Watch this space)

Sheeeeeeee She She She SHINE On

2010-04-19T17:13:00.012+01:00

Sooooo, rather than go on and on and on and on and on and on about my MARATHON walk on twitter I have decided to write the definitive blog description to get it all over and done with in one massive post. I'll try and keep it fairly short - but you know me. Or maybe you don't.

Having done ~~approximately no~~ lots and lots of training for this 26.3 mile walk, overnight, through the streets of Manchester, I was ~~completely un~~ fully prepared for it and ~~shitting myself~~ raring to go.

To be fair, I had done a training walk in Feb of 16 miles around the streets of Manchester. During the day. And I had walked a 6 and then an 8 mile country walk on consecutive weekends leading up to the race. All seemed good, apart from some backache on the 16 miler which I didn't get at all on the country walks. Probably because we sat down and had an ice cream on the second one :-)

On the day, lunch was supposed to consist of a carb heavy pasta dish followed by a lighter bean based dinner a couple of hours before we set off. Instead, I managed to completely mess this up, eat two crumpets for breakfast at 9am, nothing till 4 pm when I had the biggest potato in the world with cheese and a flapjack. By the time it got to 6pm I was so stuffed full of carbs and adrenaline the dog really needed to see the rabbit, and I was tempted to do four laps of the house to release some of the pent up energy. I didn't though.

We all met outside the library at 8.30pm. We were supposed to be at the Gmex at 7pm, but we decided that we didn't really need to 'warm up' for a walk and this turned out to be an ExcellentDecision™ Arriving at 8.45pm at the Gmex we hurried to the loo, even though we had all been before we left the house AND before we had got to the library. Nervousness I guess.

Anyway, three volunteers later and we found the nearest toilets (honestly, how HARD can it be to know where the toilets are if you are going to be asking people if they need any help, surely its probably in the top 2% of questions you would get asked). Despite being promised a light up balloon, it appears that they had run out - again, surely they knew how many people were coming. We discussed finding vulnerable people with more than one to bully into giving one up, but soon decided that they may become more of a hindrance as the night progressed and decided fate had dealt us a balloonless night. And also thats probably not very CC. (Charity-ally Correct).

After about 45 min and a stunning warm up set from the Chuckle Sisters (not sure if this was their real name) who couldn't seem to grasp the idea of a microphone eliminating the need to shout, we somehow worked out that we should all go to the far corner of the GMEX. I say worked out because despite various announcements, you couldn't hear them in the entrance and then they stopped altogether once we were in there. Visions of us not even leaving the GMEX till 11pm started to creep into our imaginations, and it wasn't far off 10.30pm when we eventually made it to the start line having waited for a disaster to happen in a crush of people and balloons. How undignified to be rendered unconcious by a balloon and carried half a mile by a throng of overexcited walkers before anyone noticed your feet weren't on the ground and you weren't standing up on your own. I thought.

Luckily this didn't happen and as the clock on the timer said 19 mins we walked through the START arch. My partners in crime were Fi and Kerry. I'd roped them both in, having been roped in by Emma, who had been roped in by Atha, who had also roped a metric shitload of other people in. So the whole ropey lot of us set off together. We knew we wouldn't stay together from the off really, when there are that many people its just too hard to keep everyone together. Plus they like run ALL the time, and we didn't want to be shown up.

The first couple of miles saw us setting off towards Salford and then back into Manchester, which was a little soul destroying, as it was super busy (Derby day and Sat night) and the roads didn't seem to be shut. At one point on Whitworth St West we ALL had to wait and then squeeze through a narrowed pavement with roadworks half on it. Two abreast.. 10,000 people. Someone hadn't thought this through. Down Oxford Road was just as bad, although this time it was waiting for traffic lights on a side road. At this point we were dreading another 22 miles of stoppin' n startin' Davy (Reeves and Mortimer reference) we were already feeling tired, the adrenalin backfiring on us, like an old Austin Allegro. Luckily a lot of people stopped at the park to regroup/wee/rest (lazy sods) and we marched on.

We got into our stride out down to Didsbury, passing through Rusholme (cue stunned looking pissed curry goers and a drunk man who thrust a tenner into Kerrys hand) and Didsbury (cue stunned looking pissed people stood outside clubs trying to pull equally pissed people).... and stopping for a wee in some bushes at mile 10. Actually it was part of B &Q but hey. I had to go for a wee before I could eat the free Cripps Pink I had been given in the park that I had been clutching for 4 miles. I just couldn't eat it till I had a wee. I dunno why ok, just coz. At about mile 11 we started listing our ailments - as I thought vocalising them made them less painful. It mainly consisted of a bit of bum cheek ache and rubbing toes. Nothing major, just twinges. Made me feel better anyway, getting Fi and Kerry to moan too. At least I wasn't the only one suffering.

We arrived back in the park, which is where the half marathon walkers split off to go back into town and finish their walk. We were pointed in the direction of ~~the ghetto~~ Moss Side, and headed over towards that way, eventually taking us to the Trafford Centre. I'd asked Matt to send me some questions to answer on the way round, just in case conversation became a little dry. Now those of you who know me, know I can talk the hind legs off a donkey and then chew his ear off, and Fi and Kerry aren't shy at coming forwards with chat. But we've never done a marathon before, and to be honest, a lot of time we didn't say anything. By the time we got to Hulme were were starting to feel the strain. (I think it was the shock of walking through a Block party in Moss Side too) This was about 15 miles in. So we started a conversation about a certain ex-boss of mine and before we knew it, were were at the roundabout leading to the Trafford centre a couple of miles down the road. When I say a conversation, I mean I bitched about her. Turns out bitching stops your feet hurting. There's alternative therapy for you right there.

Ok, so onto miles 16-21 - bloody nightmare. I think I have somewhat blanked them out, but they were on the main road down to the Trafford Centre, through the industrial estates and back on the other side of the road. Great when you are on the side of the road with the 21 mile marker on it. Not so great when you are looking at those people from the side of the road with the 16 mile marker on it. Seriously hard.

Fi suddenly remembered that she had some Nurofen that her boyfriend had suggested she take in case of pain, so we cracked them open on a celebratory 19th mile and spent the next mile talking about whether they were kicking in yet? We stopped for a stretch before we cracked on with the final stretch, and as we headed to mile 21 marker the sun started to rise and birds sing. I vaguely remember a conversation about whether it was birds getting up because it was morning, or whether they hadn't been to bed yet, and also what time of morning does it stop being night - but I don't think we ever concluded that one. Probably got sidetracked by a story of a shed or something. *Wink*

I think we indulged ourselves in thinking we might actually finish this in one piece at this point. Either than or the extra Nurofen me and Fi had about half an hour later was causing some delirium. Or the lack of sleep. Or the 21 miles we had just walked. Whatever it was, it probably kept us going for another mile. We kept telling ourselves it was the 'home stretch'. Home stretch! Our home stretch was 6.5 miles. I told them it was nearly same as Chorlton to Urmston (which was a lie as its 3.7 miles from mine to knitting as I did it on Weds but I thought it would boost moral and I figured the final 2 miles would feel like a lap of honour). Anyway, it didn't boost moral, so I shut up.

I think we played the 'films beginning with S' game and the 'bands from A-Z' game for the next mile, but it felt like forever and we couldn't think straight so we stopped. It was well and truly light at this point, and people were starting to travel into work I guess. There was the odd person on their way home though. Two young lads obviously on their way home walked past us and gave a word of support as they passed, at 6.30 in the morning, after 24.5 miles it meant A LOT.

The final stretch was easy really, my foot had started hurting at the Lowry (or mile 23 as its now known) and my toe on my left foot felt like it was being strangled by a sock hole. I'd checked this at the Lowry pitstop but there was no hole in my sock. I knew something sinister was happening underneath, but thought I would save that little joy for hometime. Best not to look for now I thought. Turns out sometimes I am a genius. More later.

As we headed towards Albert Sq we saw some of the power walkers heading back home. Mental note: say you are a power walker next time so you can get out first. Then just dawdle. Whose to stop ya? I sent Mr TSD a text saying 'last mile x' in the hope it would wake him up and then he would offer a lift home. It woke him, but I did have to send a prompting 'lift???x' text to secure a ride home. It was 7am.

At 7.15am (9.04 hours on the clock, but don't forget we only passed the start at 19mins) we arrived back at the GMEX. Tired, unemotional (emotions are for people who aren't having out-of-body experiences) but very happy to have completed the whole 26.3 miles (and the rest zigzagging out the GMEX at the start). 8hrs and 45 minutes of walking, virtually none stop at an average speed of 2.88 mph, through Manchester, at night.

The strangled toe feeling was a massive nail bed blister under my middle left toe. A common theme with me having lost three toenails to my wedding evening disco (dem damn shoes) and previously to some too-tight-but-pretty-awesome limited edition Adidas Superstars. I also have a really sore right foot at the moment, (can't put weight on it) - more than just a been-on-them-all-day sore foot. I'm kinda hoping its something more impressive than just a pressure pain, so I can say things like 'yeah I did the last 3 miles with a broken foot' and try and be even a sliver of the amount of impressive the people who have had, or indeed were having treatment for, cancer who did the 26 miles, but I am guessing it will feel better soon and life will go back to normal for me. Makes you realise that 'normal' is something to be thankful for every single day.

To those who have sponsored me (and Matt for his 10k) thank you so much. Over £700 for The Christie - I hope you think I have earned your support. For those who think I haven't, walk a mile in my shoes, that way you are a mile away and you have my shoes. Win Win.

If you have been effected by this blog, and feel like you would like to sponsor someone then please go to:

www.justgiving.com/Team-Kendall

Walk rating: 5/5

Company: 5/5

Achievement factor: 5/5

Route planning skills for first 4 miles: 0/5

Overall awesomeness of Team Awesome score: ✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭

No longer valid

2010-02-19T17:11:00.002Z

Dudes, I totally forgot to tell you, and I didn't get a chance to take a pic, but seeing the lovely Lowry are one of my new clients, I have popped over there a couple of times to see them, and the last time I went, I couldn't believe my eyes. This had gone! And a correctly spelt poster was proudly hung in its place. Only took two years (at least) but finally its done. Shame really I was going to nominate 'invalididate' for an entry in the OED this year.

Work interrupts play

2010-02-19T17:02:00.002Z

Hi there, my lovely follower.

In case anyone cares, the reason that I have reverted back to type of 'slackblogger' its because, for some inexplicable reason I have been working at my proper job. And a lot of it too. And at night I have been gymming in order to not die on my Marathon Walk in April. Or watching the Olympics snowboarding. Or making more bread - but not having time to talk about it, nor work out why my proving stage appears to defy all rules of yeast and physics and REFUSES TO DOUBLE IN SIZE.

In other news, at knitting club, we are considering setting up a WI, but not a new fashioned one, and old fashioned one. Apparently there is one in Dunham Massey where you get marked down at shows if you have ONE stitch out of line in the quilting competition. This sounds like something I need to get involved in.

Knead to know

2010-02-15T15:26:00.010Z

As some of you might have known, I have been experimenting recently. Now before you imagine me with a nice pair of chemistry goggles and a white coat, I must explain that I have been experimenting with making my own bread. It doesn't involve an overcoat as such, but due to its floury nature, I do employ the services of a rather lovely pinny MrTSD got me for Christmas. (Along with an oven glove which makes me think that I am doing a little too much to make him think I actually AM a 50's houswife).

So, after a few attempts, which involved buying ready mixed packets that you simply add water/milk to, I decided that this was a false economy and invested some hard earned cash in this in an attempt to get my bread to actually rise during the proving stage. Previous attempts had resulted in lovely thick wholemeal bread, but still a little doughy for my liking. Of course, when you are making your own bread, don't expect it to be as light as fluffy as your Warbutons thin sliced. Thats because aswell as stuffing your daily bread full of unimaginable E numbers, they also pump it full of air, so it puffs up, fills the bag and you think you are getting your moneys worth.

Apart from you're not. You have to eat four slices to get the same fullness as 2 slices of homemade. so that means you have to buy 2 loaves to get the same as one loaf of homemade. Yet homemade come out at about 50p max per loaf.

Basically what I am trying to say is it is actually CHEAPER to make your own bread. All you knead (geddit) is a tray, some arms, some flour, water and yeast. They don't even recommend the old style yeast where you have to 'wake it up' or whatever you do with it. You can use the dried 'quick' yeast with the same effects, and no artisan breadmaker would look down on you.

You do however need to be in the house for the next four hours. The breadmaking only actually takes about 10 minutes (if you have a mixer who does the hard work for you). The waiting for it to rise/double rise/prove/rest/learn Spanish is the time consuming bit, and will have you straying no further than the local shop for fear you might miss the slot in which you must uncover/'knock back'/reshape and recover your bread baby.

Its a labour of love of course, and I haven't quite got a perfect loaf yet,but we haven't bought a loaf of bread since Christmas (apart from 2 handmade rolls from the local deli) and just think of all those plastic bags we aren't throwing away.

So.. the evidence, well I cleverly took a pic before this particular baby went in the oven

And then not so cleverly managed to forget to take one when it came out the oven. Still you can see it looks like a loaf of bread and it did indeed taste like one, but it was still a bit dense. I am having trouble getting them to rise during the proving bit... so I'll let you know how I get on with this beautiful bunch of floury goodies:

I've ordered some new yeast from them too, so I can see if its the type of yeast I am using, or if its definitely my proving techniques.

I also had a go at these:

in a pre-Easter dry run, but they were pretty solid, even though they tasted yummy. Again, something to do with the rising. But fear not Tea fans, do not fret for the density of my produce, I shall soon be churning out fairy light baked goods for all.

Watch this space.

Oh why haven't I written for so long???

2010-02-05T11:32:00.002Z

Good point, why haven't I written for so long. Guess with the new loe of my life taking up all my time... what Mr Teashopdiaries? No twitter of course... I just don't feel like I have time... but its been long enough and I feel I need to rekindle my affair with the Tea Shop Diaries, not least because I got one of these beauties for my Christmas.

And if you can't blog about a beast like that, and all its delicious out pourings then what can you blog about?

Current projects include : A childs cardigan I have been knitting for about a year and that has become a celebrity in its own right at knitting club, cushion covers with transfered decorative initials (not started yet, but need to find material) and breadmaking.

More soon I promise.

Luvubai.

Time on my hands

2009-11-17T15:52:00.002Z

So, this year has been a pretty busy one. First there was sorting the wedding out, then there was the Manchester International Festival, which took up a lot of my time, till July. Then in August agency work and other client projects, then the hen do, the wedding and honeymoon, and now in November, I'm bored.

I need to start doing my portfolio, but I'm not sure how to start it, so in typical fashion I put it off and off. I firstly need good pics, but its hard to take them yourself. The first lot were rubs, but MrTSD (official now) has a better camera I can use this time, well when I say better, I mean its not as good, but the functions are more basic. So therefore I can use them!

I just don't know how to do it, I mean so it looks good. So in true Tea Shop fashion I am waiting for divine inspiration. Might be waiting a while for that they eh?

In the meantime..... I wonder what people are up to on Facebook?

Adventures in marriage-hood

2009-11-04T15:09:00.002Z

Hi Tea fans.

Well if there are any of you actually still out there, or if any of you indeed care. here I am a bonafido married lady*. Marriage09(TM) went very well indeed, despite bad rain in the morning, which threatened us to be relegated to the rather unromantic setting of the Partners Room. Luckily, the wedding lady at the hotel is experienced in the art of lying, and told the registrar it hadn't rained all morning when she arrived. It had by then stopped and thanks to a handful of guests getting handful of worms off the path last minute so I didn't squish them with my princess shoes, it all went ahead outside in the gazebo.

Mr Teashopdiaries, was by all accounts, pretty emotional and nervous, before he heard my dulcet tones scousing up the aisle - hiya, ooh hello there, hi, hi (well we didnt have any music as God had struck the wedding ladies cd player down in return for her lying to the registrar). Completed by a roaring rendition of the guests humming 'Here comes the bride' the short walk of ten feet up the path to the gazebo took less than 15 secs. Just how I like it, now stop looking at me, haven't you people got anything better to do?

Whats seemed like 2 and a half minutes later, encorporating two readings where the voices cracked half way through and threatened a cry fest, we were married. Nice. To the point. Thats us.

Half an hour of photos up a mountain in the wind and we were on with the drinking. Meal went very well, speeches were excellent, though don't test me on the content, I can't remember any of it, except me forgetting to thanks the inlaws and give presents out.

Onto the sky candles which were the only let down of the day. Two members of staff, a nearly burnt down tree and 4 sky candles later, it was all called off. We still have a box full. Cheap to the nearest bidder if anyone wants them.

Next up was the band, provided by my dad and his mates. I knew that I would love it, but I was amazed at how much everyone loved them, seeing as its pretty old school music. Half of them got up and did 'keep dancing' tess and bruce impressions across the floor, and the rest joined in the Pack up your Troubles/Tipperary sing-off which was the surprise hit of the evening. All in all, the Trebletones went down a storm, and what lovely gents they were too.

Then came the wheels of steel, well the ipods of aluminium... and an embarrassing amount of gin later, I had danced the night away. Typically the pics from later on in the evening are not what you would call flattering, but hey I had a great time. God knows where my husband was, but I had fun.

Top the night off with an acapella version of ice ice baby by the Toastmaster and the wedding was complete. That was the hundred-and-thousand on the cherry on the icing on the cake that was our big day.

We couldn't have wanted more.

*loose sense of word

Single White Female

2009-10-05T17:15:00.003+01:00

Soon to be brown married one. Eek, double eek, and thrice eek.

Brown as in gonna have to tan-up otherwise people might think I have gone for an all in one bodystocking look wedding dress - "where does she start and the dress end?" will be the words on everyones lips.

So... this is it Tea fans.

In order of things worrying me at the moment, here are my top 5.

1. First dance - Mr teashopdiaries to-be is putting his head in the sand on this one, so no doubt it will be a truffle shuffle along the slippy floor till the three minutes are up.

2. Walking down t'aisle. A) I hope its not raining, so I can walk up the path and not the aisle. B) what if I i) cry b) slip or 3) go bright red. All of which are highly likely and not conducive to elegance.

3. Disco. It will be fine. Really happy with the DJ we have but we are hiring the gear off another dude and I just pray it all goes according to plan. Otherwise Tea fans (real ones not webbed ones) will have to chas'n'dave it up.

4. Hair. Nightmare.

5. Trying to not get pissed the night before.

6. Wearing heels

7. Wearing dress

8. Wearing white dress and drinking wine

9... oh sorry I was only doing top 5 wasn't I?

So, next time I speak I will have learnt the Haka in New Zealand having driven the length of it in record time... and will be back in Blighty looking forward to a first Christmas with my new husband.

Husband.

Hehehehe.

MIF09 ruins your life

2009-06-21T17:22:00.005+01:00

Hi Tea Fans. If there are any of you left, you might be glad to know that I am actually still alive and kicking despite my complete lack of blogginess.

We are heading swiftly to the start of the festival which will be on 2 July - featuring Kraftwerk at the Velodrome with a few blissful surprises in store, Its gonna be like totally MEGA! Thank God, my lovely marketing director sorted out a ticket for Mr Tea Shop Diaries to-be. Otherwise I would have never lived down not being bothered about going when the tickets went for sale and them selling out whilst we thought about it. Oops. Anyway all is well that ends well as they say in Germany.

Other exciting things that are going to happen this week are: The Festival Pavilion is going up on Albert Square, Quay House is being trussed up like a Halloween haunted house for Adam Curtis and Punchdrunks It Felt Like a Kiss, and Rufus Wainwright and Jeremy Deller are milling about our office. A pretty exciting time to be in Manchester at the mo.

And I'm going to see my first opera as well. Eeek.
In the meantime here is the dressing for it at the Palace theatre, done by my own fair mouse hand.

See you on the other side. I'll try and blog my way through it, but to be honest, 12 programmes in 5 days does not a happy equation make, so there might be even less time this week!

Red nose cakes II

2009-05-10T22:44:00.001+01:00

Red nose cakes II, originally uploaded by The Tea Shop Diaries.

And I gave them red nose face/noses this time....

Red nose cakes

2009-05-10T22:43:00.001+01:00

Red nose cakes, originally uploaded by The Tea Shop Diaries.

Not sure if you have seen these, but these were the cakes I made for Emmas 'lets have it a month early' Red Nose Day. We ate them all, and then I made some more the month after at the correct time.

I'm back - from outer space (not really)

2009-05-10T22:01:00.007+01:00

Well Tea fans, how sorry I am to have abandoned you for SO long. Apart from me having no camera to take pics of any of my amazing bake-ages, I haven't baked much at all, on account of me being so busy doing work for these people as well as doing all my normal work at night and at weekends.

Wedding plans are going well (thanks for asking) and the lovely Ruth at the fine cheese company in Bath, is helping us get the cheese cake we really want out of handmade artisan veggie cheeses they supply for weddings. Had the first fitting for my wedding dress with my mum, and its nearly there. Can't give away too much (anythingin fact) as Mr Tea Shop Diaries subscribes to this blog like a good supportive other half should.

And onto the cakes.

In order to ingratiate myself to my new colleagues (albethem short term contract ones)and also to bring some Monday cheer to the office, I promised them cakes. And cakes they shall get too. These beauties are not only lemon cakes, but they are lemon cakes, with crystallised ginger in them and a little blob of lemon curd in the middle. Topped with lemon buttercream with a mini jelly lemon and some lemon rind curls on the top, you can't get much lemony-er than them!!!

And, they all fit perfectly into my lovely new cake tin.

While I was at it, I threw together a quick tiffin, as its my speciality (apparently) but I buggered it up a bit and had to dry out the mix a bit with ground almonds as I ran out of digestives. Oh well we will see how nice it is in the morning when its chilled.

Till next time TeaFans, I bid you a goodnight, and hope I see you quicker than I did last time.

Apparently...

2009-03-30T12:40:00.003+01:00

my cakes are the reason that Darren has put on half a stone since I started going into their office. Well, even though I am glad that he likes my cakes so much I will not take responsibility for this.

No pics for a while now folks as my camera is still being 'fixed' at COMET. DON'T ASK!!!

The competition

2009-03-23T11:55:00.003Z

Popped into the (not) new (as its been open ages) cupcakery in Chorlton to sample some of their delights seeing as we never seem to be around when it's open. As it was a) Mothers Day and b) Sunday late afternoon, there was not the usual amount of cupcakes to select from, but also seeing as we had never had any before, it didn;t really matter.

They all looked fab, but we opted in the end for a Betty Page (chocolate and coffee), and a Mint Royale (chocolate and mint).

The presentation could not be faulted, beautifully crafted dollops of cream cheese icing decorated with glitter and chocs.

The sponge was fabulously light and the icing, just the right consistency to be melt in the mouth, but still hold its shape. No mean feat I will add as my last cream cheese icing slipped sideways off most of the cakes.

We were a little disappointed that the actual cake bit didn't reflect the nature of the cake a little more ie. coffee and mint in the chocolate cake, but we put this down to the logisitics of actually running a business as oppose to making cakes in your kitchen for your mates.

Anyway, all in all, a lovely Sunday afternoon treat in the guise of research.

Must write more blogs. Its been far too long Tea-fans.

More soon...

Fame at Last

2009-02-26T13:22:00.002Z

Check out my cupcakes and current status as 'baking goddess' on the Volcom site here

Volvom Cupcakes part 2

2009-02-17T16:48:00.007Z

Here are some (rubs) pics of the Volcom cupcakes at the party.

As if that wasn't enough

2009-02-17T16:21:00.003Z

I knocked up some of these on Sunday. Yum.

And tomorrow I promised Emma 24 cakes for her Comic Relief event on Friday!

Volcom Party Bakeathon

2009-02-17T16:06:00.010Z

Well Friday was the day I took a day off normal work of ~~staring out the window~~ design and took up role of Master Baker for a day. Phew it was HaRd WoRk!

After a frenzied morning, of cats, haircuts (for cat) and Asda shopping we finally started baking about 1pm. We did a rota system of one 24 cupcakes, followed by 30 biscuits, (Rpt) until we had about 54 cupcakes (because the size varied enormously!) and 60 + biscuits.

Round one ended in some rather thick set cupcakes. So we iced the bejesus out of them and no one was any the wiser.

Round two were rather lighter, but spread over the entire top of the muffin tray. So we trimmed round them with scissors and then iced the bejesus out of them and no one noticed.

Round three, were considerably better. Bright red as we had relented to the 'un' natural food colouring and just the right cupcake size. So we thought, what the hell and iced the bejesus out of them, and didn't think anyone would care one way or another about anything much, seeing as they were getting free cocktails AND cupcakes.

The biscuits were altogether easier, besides the recipe misinforming us re: the flour. So we just poured more in and they were very nice in the end.

Here are some pics from the baking session. More to follow of them 'in situ' when Matt gets them off his iPhone. I am currently sans decent camera as the battery is faulty in mine... and the new one has not arrived yet.

Its snowing!!!

2009-02-02T11:40:00.008Z

Big Wow.
I wonder how people in Scotland cope.

Now in other news, here are some more cakes that I have been up to this weekend.

The first ones are the black bottoms I made the other week, which I forgot to take a photo of before they were scoffed by the Fuzz boys.

They looked rubs, but were the most delicious ones I have ever made. (apparently).

The red velvet ones came out very well apart from the icing, which I didn't make thick enough. Oh well, tastes nice.

And the cookies were a bit weird as they were wheat free and didn't stick very well, they also contained ~~bee poo~~ honey so I'm not keen, though dipping them in choc worked well. The shapes were good though.

And in Asda yesterday I found silicone muffin cases 12 for £2 which was a bargain!

Still need to perfect a good biscuit recipe for the Friday bakeathon in a couple of weeks.

Love Cupcakes?

2009-01-29T11:31:00.004Z

Volcom Girls Marketing Manager Extraordinaire and friends to the Boodalls - Josie 'special thumb' Clyde, is throwing an Anti Valentine Party soon which we are pretty excited about.

Not only that, but I get to take a day off work and spend it baking and making black heart cupcakes and broken heart cookies for her event.

The black cake cases have been ordered and I am currently trying out a number of suitably non-romantic toppings.

Watch this space for photos soon!!

Window Seat

2009-01-29T09:59:00.002Z

This is why I always try and get the window seat on planes, because when else would you see views like this?

Almost makes it worth getting the 6am flight to Geneva with Jet2.

Oh no hang on a minute. No it doesn't.

Thursday Funnies

2009-01-29T09:56:00.002Z

A little email popped into my inbox this morning entitled.
Behold – the man who looks like a thumb.

They weren't wrong.

Whoops

2009-01-26T21:38:00.005Z

Thats Whoops as in 'Oh dear I really didn't mean to do that', not Whoops as in a number of noises made in joy.

It has been brought to my attention (thanks mum and dad) that I haven't blogged in a while. Sorry Tea Fans, I didn't mean to neglect you. The exact opposite in fact, I have been locked away in the kitchen (wearing my mums pinny that she made when she was
very young, which was a very long time ago) perfecting my cupcake and cookie cooking.

So until I can think of a rant/interesting fact for my next blog I will leave you some nice pics of my latest creations.

Christmas and Cupcakes

2008-12-29T22:46:00.002Z

Greetings and festive felicitations Tea Fans, and apologies to anyone who has missed my updates for the last few weeks.

In a nutshell, this is what I have been up to since we last spoke:

Shop, panic, wrap, install towel rail in bathroom, open proverbial 'can of worms' doing so, have no heating, heating reinstalled, towel rail hung.

Christmas do: drink, rock band, drink, meal, drink, dance, drink, dance, drink, dance, drink, taxi, vom(!), sleep.

Curry, Josie over from France, early morning city shopping, lunch, relax, chilli.
Friends, pub, drink, laugh, worry about tax return, drink more, lose track of time, sleep.

Drive to Wirral, relax.
Relax. Make trifle. Relax.
Christmas day, presents, sprouts, nut roast, potatoes. Trifle.
Relax. Relax. Relax.
Relax. Relax. Knit.Relax
Knit. Knit. Knit.

Drive back to Manchester. Tidy. Unpack.
Dribble over new cookbooks. (Three: Cupcakes, Cookies and Afternoon Teas)

Friends. Fajitas. Gin. Taxi. Town. 30th Birthday.
Popcorn. Taxi. Sleep.

Tax return. Cupcakes.

And that, Tea Fans is what I have been doing since we last spoke.

Now.... New Year....

Ding dong the witch is dead

2008-12-11T15:56:00.003Z

Which old witch? The wicked witch of course.

Last night saw the annual 'people who used to work for Epigram and people who still do and are girls' Christmas theatre trip last night, and it was to the Lowry again, but this time to see the Wizard of Oz, or Woz as I like to call it.

This time, we borrowed Elsa, Jo's little girl, to make us look a bit more legit and a bit less like a bunch of weirdos who go to pantomimes, like we do most years. However, this wasn't a panto this year (though they threw in a 'they're behind you' for the kiddies) but a fantastic performance of an old favourite.

The munchkins were amazing. They were kids, but they mimed to the original soundtrack so they had adult squeaky voices, and it worked a treat. They had a full on sheer cinema screen that stood in front of the set, so when they showed the tornado scene, they had a 'pitching' bedroom scene in the background and images of scarecrows and twisters and its of houses flying about on the screen. Very creative and very effective. As always, a stunning show at the Lowry.

Anyway, a thoroughly enjoyable night out, I think we enjoyed it more than Elsa, who seemed to spend more time looking at her amazing flashing light show heart that Jo had bought her, but hey!

Now.... who's up for Mary Poppins in the new year? Matt?

Ring a ding ding

2008-12-05T13:43:00.002Z

Well Tea Fans, its now official.

Finally after a wait of what seemed like years, but was in fact only weeks, I have my beautiful custom engagement ring. Yay!

Unfortunately, due to my cameras sheer bloodymindedness it refuses to focus on the detail of the ring, and more on the detail of my wrinkly stolen-from-an-old-lady hands. But you can see it pretty well.

For those of you who are interested it is a London Blue Topaz, set in 18ct yellow gold setting and white gold band.

Wowsers!!

Sorry you have a life and can't wait in all day for me.

2008-12-01T14:16:00.006Z

Ok, so here it is.

Our postman left, they didn't replace him, they gave our round to another (very begrudging by all accounts) postman on top of his round. He wasn't happy about having to work till 2pm. Poor you I thought, though he probably did start work at about 6am.

We now don't get our post till 2.30pm sometimes, sometimes, 4pm, sometimes 12.30pm. So unless I stay in ALL day waiting for the postman, if I miss a parcel, I have to go and collect it. Which is fine if it is not-delivered in the morning, but as it is not-delivered 2.5 hours after the sorting office shuts, I then have to get it the next day.

Its NOT good enough, I work from home. So if I work from home, and I can't successfully take delivery of parcels. How the hell can people who go away from their houses to work get their big post?

They should franchise out Royal Mail to Father Christmas, he seems to manage ok.

And don't even get me started on Home 'oh you aren't in, ok I'll leave the massive cardboard box with amazon written all over it on your doorstep two feet from the pavement' Delivery Network.

AND I've not even started on DHL!

Terrible

2008-11-23T17:03:00.001Z

Has anyone seen the Iceland advert with Kerry 'Chip Shop' Katona, Donovan and Nolan in it.

Need I say anymore?

Cereal Killer

2008-11-18T17:16:00.006Z

Whats with the Kelloggs people these days?

Firstly it was an advert of a young woman gradually removing her clothes in what looks like Narnia, only to find that nice old bowl of Special K with HOT MILK warms you up (to be honest, I reckon keeping your warm coat on in the snow is probably more sensible, if you want to stay warm). You know, like when you have it with COLD MILK, its cold. Well guess what if you have it with HOT MILK its nice and warm.

You don't say.

NOW, its a mum pouring HOT MILK from a jug onto some cocoa pops which then turns into some random extra scene from Fantastia, with cartoon hippos enjoying a nice bath in it.

Eh? What? Am I missing the point here. Haven't people been putting HOT MILK into their cereal to have it HOT rather than COLD for years.

Me thinks that in recent financial times, Kelloggs are sh*tting themselves that they are losing the winter market to porridge (don't kelloggs make Ready Brek though?) and are desperately trying to rebrand all cereals for our winter of discontent.

Why don't they just make one cereal from now on:
Credit Crunch (With Vitamin C)

PS. There is a lingerie shop round the corner from us called The Pillar Box (it used to be the Post Office) whose range of maternity wear is called HOT MILK. Wrong or what?

You sure have started somethin'.

2008-11-18T17:06:00.003Z

Babyface.

Thats me. Officially.

I used to get really wound up when I was about 21 and the novelty of showing my ID had worn off, but I was still being asked to show it whenever I went to pubs and clubs.

Everyone used to say when you are older, you'll be happy. They were right.

I got asked for ID on Sunday in M&S in St Pancras Station, by what can only be described as a teenager. I was buying some nice wine for my soon to be sister and brother in law (hehe) as its their 1st anniversary this week and we were staying at their house. She eyed it up, eyed me up, eyed the wine up again, and then WHAM, there it was:

' Have you got any ID?'

Yesssss, I muttered under my breath as I proudly showed her my driving licence saying 1974 with a massive beam on my face.

'ooh I'm sorry' she muttered as she started to redden in the cheek area.

'No problem' I said loudly, 'I take it as a compliment these days'

'You should' she said.

I do.

New kid on the blog

2008-11-12T13:02:00.002Z

Get ready Tea Fans for an exciting new food based blog.

Retrofuzz are conducting extensive research currently into the best lunchtime eateries/take outs mainly in the Northern Quarter of Manchester.

We are going to collectively document all our eatings in a blog style, and score the food accordingly, including pics, and a rating system involving points for: taste, satisfaction, value for money and service.

I also get my cakes rated by the boys who sample them most. So its great research for the tea shop too.

Yum

Centre for Culture

2008-11-10T12:07:00.003Z

But not for spelling seemingly.

I was queuing up for the car park pay machine at The Lowry last night when I stumbled across this little beauty.

Well, when I saw 'stumbled across' I mean I saw the massive A0 if not bigger sized poster in the main entrance to the actual centre.

What stuns me more though, apart from the obvious extra letters the word 'invalidate' finds itself the owner of; the fact that it hasn't been spell checked; that someone has proofed it probably more than once AND finally okayed it – but the fact that it is underlined and italicised. I mean come on!

Lost in Translation

2008-11-03T10:20:00.002Z

Everyday to cheer myself I look at this site. It's probably one of the funniest sites I have ever seen.

Its basically just a blog where people send in examples of when translation has gone very wrong. It cracks me up. But not as much as these glasses did on Saturday night.

Its the most wonderful time of the year.

2008-10-29T12:28:00.003Z

I thought that advertising new Glade Christmas plug ins for this 'festive season' in September was bad enough, but no sooner had the middle of October passed and suddenly we have forgone the beautiful season of 'Autumn' (AKA 'the run up to Christmas') and dived headlong into panic buying and choosing baubles.

Now without wanting to sound like a Scrooge, as I love Christmas as much as the next person, but don't you think it dilutes the 'magic' somewhat by starting the onslaught a good 3 months before the event.

And its not just the inside of shops, the Arndale was fully Christmassed up yesterday, to my disbelief, complete with a grotto (minus Father Christmas - who is in my opinion the only person forgiven for trying to be organised months ahead). The Trafford Centre had more lights on it than Gatwick, also complete with prancing metallic reindeer leaping out from the surrounding roundabouts.

But what about poor Hallowe'en and Bonfire Night, I used to be so excited about them, but they seem to be eclipsed by the monster that is 'The run up to Christmas' these days.

So come on Tea Fans - think of the pumpkins, lonely this Autumn, bypassed for some tinsel and unloved for the sake of a bauble.

Keep Christmas in December!

A mathmatical lesson in pies

2008-10-22T10:53:00.004+01:00

Hi Tea fans, todays lesson is brought to you by the tax man.

Tax man: Hello, thats a nice pie can I have some.
Me: Sorry, I need it to live from.
Tax man: Go on
Me: I'm sorry tax man, I made this pie myself, its my hard work, why don't you make your own pie.
Tax man: But I want yours.
Me: Well, I am sorry, but with this pie I have to feed my family, and by selling pieces I can also buy shelter and plan a wedding.
Tax man: Tough, gimme pie.
Me: NO!
Tax man: OK just give me 1/4 to a third of it.
Me: Do I have to?
Tax man: Yes, its the law.
Me: Oh
Tax man: Yum I am rich.

Instore Sail

2008-10-21T13:00:00.006+01:00

Check out the front of window of No 1 Carnaby Street in That There London.

The window is modelling artwork done by the great Matt Kendall, and the inside features bag patterns by the great Matt Kendall, and cube stands artworked by the great Lynda Booth.

If you are in London go and have a look at the Great Eastpak shop, its a beauty! (well it sure is now)

Adventures in wheat free world

2008-10-10T09:03:00.005+01:00

Morning Tea-fans. Here are some wheat free breakfast muffins.

They aren't the same.

The wheat free spanner has hit the works at full pelt regarding the future of the tea shop.

Well probably not, but it does sound dramatic doesn't it.

I am wheat free for 4 weeks (long boring story) and have realised that wheat is present in nearly everything that you see around us. In fact I'm pretty sure that I am currently sat on a settee stuffed with wheat (weetabix maybe?).

Currently the most difficult thing to find is something you can have with a roast.

tofu burgers - nah contain wheat
Quorn products - nah contain wheat
veggie burgers - nah contain wheat
steak - nah contains meat

And the most rude of all rude appearances of wheat so far is:
Panda Liquorice.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Swedish Nut Balls

2008-10-01T10:06:00.004+01:00

Check out this act of complete and utter lunacy.

Three words:
Mental
Health
Act.

I can't embed the I don't think.... geeks let me know.

A Rum Do

2008-10-01T09:12:00.003+01:00

Get a load of these beauties.

Matt had some minging bananas going soft, so rather than throw them out, I thought I would cook them into some cakes. Some cakes with a special twist. Some cakes with a secret ingredients.

Sailor Jerry

Apparently they are good. I wouldn't know, I hate bananas.

The best smells in the world

2008-10-01T09:08:00.003+01:00

I was walking back from the shop yesterday (following the purchase of organic chocolate drops for Matts cakes - see next post) and I whiffed the gorgeous, unmistakable smell of chippy chips, from the local Beech Rd Chippy*, so this has inspired me to get my rhyme on and I now present, to the tune of 'My Favourite Things'.

Raindrops on mowed grass and hot necks on kittens;
Basil, rosemary and freshly washed mittens;
Brown paper packages filled up with chips
These are a few of my favorite sniffs

Pine forests, almonds and freshly made coffee;
Baked bread and fruit cake and treacle toffee;
Garlic that grows in the fields and the fells
These are a few of my favorite smells.

Petrol at garages and blazing camp fires;
Ginger and fennel and clothes out the dryer;
Old books and new books and the inside of tents,
These are a few of my favorite scents.

*Best Chippy EVER.

Welcome cold, first of the year

2008-09-25T09:17:00.002+01:00

So we are only 2 days into the Autumn and the dreaded lurgy has raised its ugly had in the guise of an annoying sore throat and a snuffly nose. Dammit. Poor old Matt has been coughing all night too so it doens't bode well for me not getting a cough.

Cures for colds:

1. Sweating it out, via exercise if possible, or chilli (preferable)
2. Watching films and lying on a bed of used tissues (usual)
3. Flush it out with a mixture of lemsips and green tea.
4. Make spaghetti bolognese with at least 4 cloves of garlic (stinky but usually works)

Any more?

Land 'Rover'

2008-09-22T20:55:00.002+01:00

As we were walking to the shop yesterday evening, we did a double take as we passed this Land Rover.

It was being driven by a dog.*

He kindly posed as we snapped a photo of him. (click on pic to enlarge it)

*ok so it wasn't moving, but it did look properly hilarious.

Butcher, Baker, Trainer Maker

2008-09-18T10:35:00.002+01:00

One of J's facebook statuses last week made me think about all the different people I know and their different careers. Although I totally missed his 'Vic Reeves Big Night Out' reference, I thought I would compile a list of people I know by job.

So here, in no particular order are my friends by jobs.

Builder, Social Worker, Teacher (lots of), Designer (web/print and lots of), Marketer, Policewoman, Company Director, Youth Worker, Accountant, Doctor, Artist, Actress, Filmmaker, Photographer, Distributor, Musician, Forensic Scientist, IT Programmer, Architect, Shoe Designer, Hairdresser, Landscape Gardener and not forgetting all those mums.... and the family Astro-Physicist in the making.

Impressive huh?

Cheese is Nice

2008-09-16T17:15:00.003+01:00

I'm starting to get a little worried about my obsession with cheese. Vegetarian cheese of course, but cheese all the same. Tomorrow I get my delivery of special Sage cheese, its the best I have ever tasted Sage-wise and possibly one of the nicest cheeses I have ever tasted.*

Look at all that lovely fresh sage hanging about the middle and top of that yummy cheese <<<< see what I mean - obsessed.

In other news, we have started to compile a list of guests for our wedding and realised that unless we start pissing them off/they start pissing us off very soon, we are going to be having a rather large wedding. Oh well, hope everyone likes chippy dinners :-)

* high praise indeed.

Load of Baubles

2008-09-14T22:08:00.004+01:00

According to Debenhams, who had all their baubles and Christmas decorations out on the 'Home' floor, Christmas is obviously round the corner. Now most people who are aware I am a founder member of the KCID (Keep Christmas in December) movement, whose symbol is a cracker with a red cross through it*

At the risk of ending up with floods of humbugs being sent my way (yes please they are yummy), WTF??? Christmas!!! If I am correct it's in more than three months time. We have only just had 'back to school', nowhere near Halloween and Bonfire Night and I'm still wearing vest tops - ok with two jumpers on top but this IS the UK.

So why not bring everything forward three months, lets eat pancakes on 25th December, Easter Eggs on 1st January, and whilst we're at it, I'm going to start building my birthday up somewhere in the month after my previous birthday, so I have the full 11 months for everyone to get ready for the BIG DAY.

Yes, Tea fans, DAY, ONE day, ONE day in 365 days in a year. Get over it.
My fail safe way of avoiding the Christmas stress every year is this:

1. Ignore all the bollocks on telly and in shops till 1/12
2. Start thinking about nice presents.
3. Buy nice presents.
4. Wrap nice presents.
5. Ignore Christmas cards and buy an Oxfam present instead and then email everyone.
6. Have a roast dinner (which is what a lot of people have every Sunday, but which most people stress about as if they were making it for Jeez himself.
7. Enjoy the day remembering that actually it wasn't stressful at all.
8. Have more fun because you didn't stress about since the Boxing day before.

Good ey?

Now... wedding planning...arrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh. *tears hair out*

*not really

Sorry for the temporary lack of service

2008-09-09T10:31:00.002+01:00

Hey Tea fans, long time no see. Well its been interesting couple of weeks since I last saw you properly so lets have a quick holiday recap:

SFO
Jetlag
Sunburn
PDX
Twins
Waterfall
Red neck beer
Goonie Beach
Scrambled tofu
Drive to Canada
Carrie
Bike lift
Bike down
Bike on knee
Bruise on knee
View over Vancouver
Sushi next to John Cusack
SFO
Heatwave
Shopping
Alcatraz
Home.

So pretty busy really.
More later in the week from 'Sky Mall' the free magazine with United Airlines. Your one stop shop for bizarre pet gadgets.

Hey you guys part 2

2008-08-27T02:36:00.009+01:00

Here it is Tea fans the moment you have been waiting for... photos from my visit to The Goonie Stone. Well Cannon Beach, Oregon - but to me, it will always be the Goonie Stone.

Amazing.

And here is the mandatory hilarious tourist shot. Genius.

Hey you guys

2008-08-26T18:40:00.004+01:00

We are off to the coast today. Apparently its beautiful, and I can't wait, though I am admittedly more excited by the fact that this is where the closing scenes of the Goonies was shot.

In the meantime, here is photo of a typical size sandwich.

Big isn't it. It cost $5 at the airport, so thats £2.50 even though its at the airport and should be more expensive. And there was another half that I had already eaten.

There is at least £2.39 worth of avocado there I reckon.

Portland Bill

2008-08-24T07:13:00.001+01:00

We have arrived in Portland but we ain't seen Bill yet. Maybe he is at the coast.

Posted with LifeCast

Hot in the City

2008-08-22T17:48:00.002+01:00

Lesson Number 1.
Just because its cloudy, misty and you can't see the bridge properly, doesn't mean that by the time it gets to 2pm in San Francisco its not bloody scorching.

It also means you should a) bring your sunglasses out with you and b) put some sun lotion on.

Woke up this morning, with a pretty hilarious necklace line and bright red face. Today we will mosty be wearing cardigans and hats.

In other news, we have made friends with some cable car drivers, who are the nicest guys on this green planet, walked about 25miles in the sun, gone up three big hills, then down the crookedest street in the world, eaten in a diner and discovered Anchor Steam beer.

Today, its Outside Lands festival at Golden Gate park, but first... shopping. :-)

Further evidence concludes early onset of dementia

2008-08-18T09:53:00.006+01:00

As if you needed anymore evidence that I was rather a ~~delusional~~ imaginative child I would like to share with you some thoughts from age about 9-10.

The first one is a detailed description of my perfect bedroom. Complete with adventerous desk and special everything. No wonder everyone wanted to get in.

This second one is based on listening to some music by Elgar.
I'm pretty keen to pick up on the orange carpets and curtains that one of them obviously had, and also that the nice lady doesn't go to discos or the pub, and that her aunty and uncle live in Belgium.

But the best one has to be the sad/jumpy clown, who is sad either because his parents died, or because he got fired by his manager but its ok because he has Old English sheepdogs.

Glad thats sorted then.

Card of the week

2008-08-18T09:41:00.004+01:00

I met up with Martin, old school friend from primary school this weekend and had a few (too many) scoops with him in a dodgy pub on the Wirral. Anyway, as it was my birthday he very kindly gave me a card.

And in the card was another card.
This card.

The card I made Martin when he had his tonsils out.

I think its pretty obvious I was going to go into a creative career, what with the 'Roman Soldier' style nurse greeting the poorly boy at the door, the 'to scale' car and the turban wearing, goggle eyed doctor inside, waiting to get his/her hands on Martins tonsils. Is it just me, or do they both have the stature of someone who has just snapped on a pair of rubber gloves in a threatening manner?

And lets not even mention why I decided to change Martins shock of red hair into a Brian May style poodle cut.

Good job I used my best writing.

Rain stops play - heat expected.

2008-08-15T10:32:00.003+01:00

Unfortunately due to the Lake District having rain (how unusual) the Lakeland Country Fair has been cancelled!

So Plan B (B for Birthday) has had to be implemented.

Bring on Chilli Fest!!! A celebration of all things Chilli at Levens Hall. So not only can you sample all manner of weird and wonderful things to do with chillis, but you can wonder in amazement at the hedges shaped like various animals.

What a day!

Confucius says...

2008-08-13T11:38:00.003+01:00

Get a website kids.

Sticking on the Chinese theme for the Olympics, J (of J and Matt from Retrofuzz) has been handing out wise words in NME to the band kids of today.

Here is the article.

This article is good for a number of reasons:
1. Its a good plug for the Fuzz.
2. Its a good picture of J and most misleading ;-) as you usually have to fight through meters of facial hair to see his face.
3. It also makes a good old sneaky plug for Delphic who - if you were concentrating Tea fans, and I hope you are as there will be a written test at the end - I reviewed previously.

Nice one Retrofuzz, keep up the good work, otherwise I will be out of both a job and a home :-)

Chinese Crackers

2008-08-12T18:32:00.002+01:00

Tea fans, let us conduct a survey. This survey is based on a visual image.

Here it is:

Isn't the one on the left ugly? Sorry what was that? Did you say I was mad? Did you ask me to rub my eyes and look again? Yeah thought so.

Apparently the Chinese Olympic committee decided that poor little 7-year-old Lin Miaoke on the left wasn't 'flawless' enough to portray the right image of China to the rest of the world by singing along to her own voice on the opening ceremoy. So instead they got 9-year-old Yang Peiyi to mime along to Lin's voice.

Unbelievable.

The perfect day

2008-08-12T17:35:00.001+01:00

Start with a tea room and end with a sheepdog contest? Yep thats pretty much a good birthday for me. Hope it's nice weather on Sunday!

Slaying the Rad

2008-08-12T16:58:00.004+01:00

Nice innit?
Its a Rocky Mountain Slayer SS 396 and its all mine, all £2395 of it.

For a day.

We have put in our rental orders for Whistler Bike Park, where we will be in a couple of weeks, whilst you lot are all enjoying the glorious British Summer (some of which is coming through my letterbox at the moment)we will be shredding the downhill trails and looking like stormtroopers in our face helmets. Oh yeah. Shame i will probably embarrass Matt by just rolling over the jumps and shouting Weeeeeee with my legs out like I usually do.

Don't worry I sorted out the insurance today.

Freestyling

2008-08-11T12:43:00.002+01:00

I haven't got anything to tell you today Tea fans, mores the pity for you. So I have decided to freestyle and chat about a few things that have happened this weekend.

Our weekend consisted mainly of frustratingly painting the bedroom white over the dust/rot/3 layers of ripped wallpaper/woodchip. Mainly because we can't bare the dirty mint green and dirty sky blue colours the previous occupants decided to paint the bedroom. I wouldn't mind but - without exception - they have painted every other room magnolia. So why these awful colours in the bedroom. Anyway, they are gone now, temporarily. I've decided that we are defo getting decorators in to do the bedroom properly as there is so much work involved matt and I would need a partition wall to separate us from each other if we tried to do it ourselves. I'll go without birthday and Christmas presents for 3 years if I have to*

Decorating is not my strong point. Well actually, it is, I don't mind painting, I quite like it, but on properly prepared, solid, smooth surfaces, which basically discounts the whole of our 100 year old house.

Bless it.

*Not including this birthday Tea fans.

Cake Wars

2008-08-08T10:44:00.003+01:00

Manchester City Council, in its infinite unfaltering wisdom*, has decided to charge visitors to the car park by the precinct in Chorlton instead of keeping it a rare free one.

Anyway, Tea fans, this has made me have to find alternative parking for Jeff* when I go to the chiropracter. So this morning, I parked up near the school, and there, just staring at me across the junction was this:

SWEET TOOTH CUPCAKERY!!!!!

Now, usually, I would call this competition, but seeing as I don't actually have a Tea shop, I am just excited!

Cupcakes in Chorlton. Yippee, I hope its open in time for my birthday next week***

Nom nom nom.

* for further examples please see the congestion charge, the road markings on Upper Chorlton Road and the new 'more lights than Electric City and it looks like zippy anyway' town hall Santa at Christmas.
** Jazzy Jeff the car (Honda Jazz)
*** gentle reminder

Job Agency Etiquette

2008-08-07T14:51:00.002+01:00

2 months ago:

Me: Hello, have you any freelance work.
Them: Yes we will put you on the list. Come in for a mac test designed in the 1970's, and a lengthy 1 hour interview, so we can see what you are like and where you might fit in.
Me: OK.

The week after:

Me: Hello.
Them. Hello, are you still looking for freelance work.
Me: Yes.
Them: Great, well we have a permanent position, are you interested.
Me: Not really, I'm interested in freelance work.
Them: OK no probs, we'll ring you if we get any.

(Repeat at regular intervals.)

Why so serious?

2008-08-07T13:32:00.003+01:00

Went to see The Dark Knight last night, and the reviews are in.

Brilliant!

I've never been a massive fan of Batman**** - whenever I see an Adam West episode I can taste Battenberg as it was always on a Saturday lunchtime - but this was summink* else.

I think Christian Bale is the only truly heroic Batman that has ever been and I am sure glad he has been pie-ing it since The Machinist*. And Heath Ledger was pretty ace as The Joker, though whether a posthumous Oscar is deserved is another matter.***

What I did notice though is that Gary Oldman is living up to his name these days.

Kapow!

* dialect word of the day.
** very good disturbing and depressing film very like most of the films I get from LoveFilm, much to Matts dismay.
***answers on a postcard to The Oscars, Hollywood, The U S of A.
****updated. See comments below and for 'never been a massive fan' read 'was obsessed with'

Dot to Dot

2008-08-06T12:09:00.002+01:00

Big news this week is also that freckles are in fashion this season.

Apparently (and Tea fans this is a heads-up fashionwise so take note and get in there early), season Autumn 08 is going to see everyone with a mouth, eyes and a nose to be totally, like, on trend.

Viva la Credit Crunch

2008-08-06T11:47:00.003+01:00

So, the news is in this week, that Brits are looking closer to home for their summer holidays due to the tightening of purse strings this year. Camping shops are doing an even more roaring trade whilst campsites around Britain haven't seen these numbers since the days of Carry on Camping.

All I can say is that Spain must gutted. I bet they can't believe their bad luck not being inundated by a load of pasty, fat, alco-pop-drinking-then-sicking-back-up-within-two-hours Brits AbroadTM. It's probably ruined their summer - gutted. I mean what will they do with their time if they aren't cleaning vomit/blood/piss/other fluids up from the bar. How are they going to enjoy the summer without the background noises of fighting and people shouting for 'Dean' to 'leave it, he's not worth it'. And surely, SURELY, their day will no longer be complete without nearly losing their teeth for not putting gravy on the breakfast order of chips.

Yeah, sorry Spain, guess you are just going to have to get used to a quieter, more sophisticated, easier coastline for this year.

Don't worry I'm sure we will be back soon.

Sorry Dad - it was just too funny.

2008-08-02T18:12:00.002+01:00

My dad has invested in something truly magnificent.
Its the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.
Even my dad couldn't keep a straight face when he was wearing it.

My dad - in his infinite wisdom - has decided, that, as spaghetti is quite hard to eat without splattering, he would safe guard his unspoilt shirts with a bib.

Yes, Tea Fans, a bib. An adult bib.

Not only is it hilarious in its very existence, but its doubly hilarious when he puts it on and its almost down to his knees. And triply hilarious when he pulls one of his funny faces to make me laugh even more.

I almost couldn't eat my tea sitting opposite him for laughing. Me and mum were having salad, but Dad was having noodles - he just can't get enough of his bib!!

Honestly, I haven't laughed like that for a long time. And that, Tea Fans, is why my dad is the most amazing genius I have ever met. Don't ever change dad, you wouldn't be half as much fun!

Home alone.

2008-08-01T11:51:00.002+01:00

I think I have abandonment issues. Either that or I just don't like Matt having fun without me*, but there is nothing worse than watching a gang of 4 excited boys packing their massive mpv to go on a Scottish Mountain Bike Road Trip. Its not like I could do what they are setting off to do, I think I would probably just cry as soon as I saw it all. But it don't 'alf make me jealous when I see other people going away.

Especially when you are currently working very hard on the worlds worst flyer designs.

However, the benefits can sometimes outweigh the minuses. As follows:

- Once the initial mud is cleaned off the carpet, it will stay clean till they get back
- The outhouse has increased in size by about 400% as most of the bikes are gone
- Everything will stay where it is until I move it.
- I get to watch all the Big Brothers tonight, without interruption or feeling guilty that I waste my Friday watching this god awful kak.
- I can have an indulgent 'me tea' that I have cooked for myself and can enjoy at whatever time I like.
- I get to sleep (maybe) without the snore monster.
- I get to see my mum and get entertained by my dad - undivided parental attention.
- I get to stay over at priths on Sunday ready for my dentist appointment on Monday.
- Matt pays me lots of attention next week and I get to choose what we do** for at least 3 days.

So really when you weigh up the for and against columns, I guess I'm pretty happy he's not here.***

He he.

*mean, aren't I?
** I do, don't i?
*** although I do miss him.

A short lesson in vegetarianism

2008-07-29T21:18:00.003+01:00

I'm sorry Tea Fans, and I'm sorry dad, but Gordon 'Effin Ramsey is now top of my shit list. Or the people who chose his so called 'vegetarians' to test his veal on.

What kind of effin vegetarian goes, 'oh you know what, I'll just try that veal < VEAL FFS!

Vegetarianism is defined quite clearly, as someone who doesn't eat meat, fish or any animal derived by-products, including non-veggie rennet, gelatine, some wheys blah blah.

Now, I know I am strict and some veggies, aren't that bothered about whether their cheese has half a calves stomach in it, but WHO, I mean WHO, thinks they are vegetarian if they eat fish? They just don't eat red meat, some of them eat chicken and claim to be vegetarian. Its no wonder when you sometimes ask if they have anything veggie, you get 'We have Tuna' - Tuna's a fish you f**king moron. Arrrrgggh.

So now Gorden Ramsey has decided to fill his F word kitchen with 'vegetarians' to sway over to the dark side by feeding them lobster, caviar and veal. He'll probably make a gelatine filled pudding just for good measure, not that any of these veggies would know the difference.

I imagine the questionnaire to try and find these imposters to get on the programme contained a questions in the vein of:

Do you eat vegetables more than once a week? If you answered yes, you are a vegetarian.

I mean the quality of the volunteers wasn't that great to start off with: Sue, 24, went vegetarian after watchin Babe

'OOh yummy', they all say having been vegetarian for 10 years, pardon me, but if they were real ones, wouldn't they have at least a few tables full of people gagging and making sick noises under the table. Certainly would be if they made me eat meat. I've been veggie for 20 and I reckon I would be.

Rant.
Done.

The Ultimate Destination

2008-07-29T13:59:00.003+01:00

So whilst booking an amazing Japanese cartoon inspired hotel for when we go to San Francisco, I stumbled across a list of must-do's whilst we are there. These include everything from Amoeba Records (I've been, but have allowed half a day for Matt to peruse the aisles!), a co-operative grocery shop run by hippie and a Balmy Alley.

But Tea fans, most importantly of all, I have found the ultimate holiday activity:

A Tea Shop

Look at the logo, its even a teapot. Look at the cake stands. Look at the menu, they sell Scones, Cucumber sandwiches and Yorkshire Tea.

Bring
it
on.

Song of the Day #1

2008-07-28T15:06:00.001+01:00

Defy me, go on. Pure genius. Pretend you are 16 again.*

*If you are my age :-)

Days like these...

2008-07-28T14:58:00.005+01:00

I like living where I live, this is about 5 mins from my house - ten in flip flops :-)

Glasvegas

2008-07-28T14:53:00.001+01:00

A modern musical equivalent of this:

Bring me back a dog*

2008-07-28T10:53:00.003+01:00

Matt's decided we are getting a dog when we get back from America. Mainly so he can watch it swimming and train it to run alongside his bike. Sounds fair enough. I'd like a dog because they are cuddly, and you don't look like a perve when you are in the park.

So it has to be:
Soft as they come in both touch and in temperament.
Medium to small, as we have a small house.
Not a working dog, for above reason.
A long nose for snuffling.
Eyebrows for raising at us.
A cute head for cocking to one side whilst raising eyebrows.
Not barky.

I like Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, or little black dogs. Dogs with permed ears and funny little feet.

I don't like anything that looks like you should be applying talc to yourself with it.
Yappy, barrel bodied dogs.
Anything in a handbag once its fully grown.
Ones that look like Gizmo from Gremlins.
Ones with heads like bricks.
Anything which might feature on a tattoo of a BNP member.

Matt likes:
Dogs.

We thought about a Beagle, but we don't like smoking in the house** and apparently you can't let them off the lead very often as they are easily distracted. (sounds like me)

So any suggestions?

*Clever IAMX song reference.
** Below the belt animal testing reference, shame on me.

The Weekend.

2008-07-28T10:44:00.003+01:00

Why is it called a 'week end' when most diaries start with Sunday at the beginning of the week? Actually scrap that, but who decided that was the end of the week, and who called it a week anyway, what does it mean, why is it so? Oh someone tell me please.

Anyway. Besides that musing, I have had a hectic and fulfilling weekend, and feel like I need a rest now thank you please.

Friday night: Curry for J's birthday, ate too much, got too hot, went to a pub, died of heat exhaustion and curry exhaustion, went to Aftershow. Got too hot, went out side, came back in, went outside, came back in, went home half asleep.

Saturday: Up first thing as didn't sleep, watched a bit of saturday kitchen, went and rolled about a retail park testing beds, bought J's present, tracked down veggie parmesan, had lunch in park, went to supermarket, came home, watched the Tour, went to Als garden party, had a cider, walked to restaurant, had a very disappointing meal, went to pub, came home, had toast coz starving, went to bed.

Sunday: Woke at 2.30am and had to eat crackers as I was so hungry, woke early, felt sick, ate a bit of bagel, was sick, finished bagel, felt better, made birthday cake, made potato salad, made coleslaw, watched new gate being fitted, went for a walk, came back, had BBQ, ate cake, played guitar hero, watched Juno, went to bed.

Weekend.
Done.

A day in the life

2008-07-25T15:15:00.002+01:00

As a graphic designer I'm always getting asked 'So, what kind of things do you do' - my standard reply is usually 'oh, you know, logos, identities, brochures, posters, leaflets, newsletters, the occasional single cover and tee shirt'.

This is a bit of a lie.
What I really do can be explained in the brief, but informative, video.

Chuckle fact of the Day

2008-07-25T13:56:00.003+01:00

Well Tea fans, I know you have been wondering why I have not mentioned in my blog, the ever great Chuckle Brothers, and, of course the outlet for their creativity - Chucklevision. Its kids entertainment at its absolute best. (Or student viewing if you are of a more thirty persuasion as I am).

This is my favourite fact of the day about Barry and Paul - from me, to you. ;-)

Paul Chuckle (the taller one) suffers with a bad back and finds it difficult to be on his feet for long periods of time. To combat this, during filming for 'ChuckleVision', a runner is hired for the sole purpose of following Paul around on location with a mattress, in case Paul requires a bit of a lie down.

Nutter of the Day #4

2008-07-24T16:10:00.002+01:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7522952.stm

Talula does the hula from Hawaii. I'm sorry. Thats just pure genius.
What kind of nutted out space job calls their kid that?

To be honest though, she is probably thanking the heavens that her parents didn't name her Number 16 Bus Shelter as one poor kid has been - assumingly influenced by the celebrity habit of naming the children after the place they were conceived. That kids got a real future.

However I did find this comment on the bbc website which made me laugh out loud when I read it:

I have been teased mercilessly from childhood to my adult years...you won't believe the amount of times people have burst out laughing right in my face when they ask my name..
Craig Gogay, London, UK

Excellent.

Video of the Week #2 (its my blog I can have two)

2008-07-24T15:14:00.002+01:00

The latest installMENT in Simon's cat adventures. Genius.

Video of the Week #1

2008-07-23T17:20:00.001+01:00

Hair and glasses - bad.
Video - good.
Song - medium.
Band - outstanding.
Reviewer - biased.

WTF

2008-07-23T10:54:00.003+01:00

Is this all about? Can someone please let the weather masters know that 25º along with a black cloud, 2 raindrops and half a sun, is NOT a forecast, its armageddon.

Guess I'll be wearing my flip flops and my waterproof on Sunday then.

I'll just have a main please....

2008-07-22T17:04:00.004+01:00

And I think you would too if this was on the starter menu.

From Asda in Sport City. On the back it has a recipe for 'Chicken One Pot Curry' and at the bottom it says 'Serve with Grace Pineapple Ginger Tropical Rhythms' . Wow, thats a set of words I would never put together to make a sentence.

Best of the Fest

2008-07-22T13:04:00.007+01:00

Hey Tea fans, I am back.

Four days of glorious rain, sun, wind and cider, and we made it back from Latitude last night after using only A-roads to return in a Dave Gorman style homage.

We weren't sure what to expect from it really... having spent the last few years going to Glastonbury, we were worried it might be a little underwhelming when we got there. On the contrary, it was like a mini glastonbury, and all the best bits at that.

Firstly its in a park, so they have a beautiful backdrop anyway, and a lake through the middle which they take full advantage of.

Secondly, its a small festival, so camping is near the arena, is near the parking, which means you can be back at the car within 15 mins. Class.

Thirdly, no annoying students called Tarquin. Well not as many to make it obvious, and there were just as many mums dads, grannies and grandads there, as well as millions of kids under 6. BUT, Tea fans, not annoying kids, no, nice ones, the ones where the parents only look up from their green tea every 40 mins to check on their beloved offspring, to realise they are still hitting two sticks together whilst shouting 'I am the choppy man', like they were an hour ago.

Good job really, seeing as I was with the biggest kids in the park, under the name of Ben and Matt, who, having been left to their own devices for an hour, were found in the forest on a log, with what was later explained to me as an 'Aerial view of an Ewok forest hideaway complete with watchtower and terrace cafe' constructed out of bracken and sticks in front of them. Genius. The only slightly worrying thing is that when I turned up, they were explaining it to a girl who had asked them what it was, who then proceeded to point out the weaknesses in their defences. Double Genius.

Other highlights include Elbow (of course) and Sigur Ros which to me was the biggest surprise. I don't think I will be rushing to buy albums, I don't think I will be rushing to see them live again (well maybe) but as far as a headline festival band, they were superb. And I was mesmerised. Though that might be the cider.

Lowlights were mainly the toilets. Until we found the composting ones near the Sunrise tents. And losing the gazebo to a large gust of wind.

Roll on Radiohead in San Francisco.

Brittons Got Talent

2008-07-16T12:03:00.001+01:00

So, I wasn't* watching This Morning This Morning (so good they named it twice) whilst doing my work of course, when Fern was talking to the (gastric) band McFly. Turns out its one of their birthdays tomorrow (23 - which means they were literally foetuses when they first appeared on our TV) and Fern said it was her 37th birthday tomorrow. Of course, I knew that wasn't true, so I looked her up to see how old she really is.

And she is 51 tomorrow. 51!! Now I know she has lost the equivalent of an 18 year old in weight recently, but still. She looks good doesn't she?

Then I realised I would be 51 in 16 years. :-(

* ok i WAS.

Nutter of the Day #3/Public Service Announcement

2008-07-16T11:06:00.004+01:00

Whoever released this research which is all over the news today.

"According to a review of studies by the Cochrane Collaboration, an international group providing healthcare information, the merits of self-examination need to be questioned.

Jan Kosters, who conducted the latest review, said teaching women a routine of how to check their breasts may be a waste of time.

Instead, he said, women should be told to keep an eye on small changes, detectable visibly and through touch."

Is it only me who can see this glaring contradiction?
For any lady Tea fans out there, who are confused as to this research, let me clarify:

Don't self examine - look and touch instead.

Now is just me, or are these EXACTLY THE SAME THING? Unless of course there has been a rise of women sitting their boobs down with a paper in A-level English Literature, and as a result the experts have been forced to clarify what self examination actually should entail.

After all, us broads are pretty thick.

NB This is for all you gentleman Tea fans out there - so you don't feel left out.

Weather the weather

2008-07-16T10:50:00.002+01:00

Its Latitude tomorrow, and so far this week, the weather seems to have become - dare I say it - a little more promising. This is the bbc forecast for the next few days...

Not loving the double rain drop on Saturday at all, lucky we are taking the gazebo which is big enough to have a campfire underneath. Yay.

Now its a case of sunchronising watches, pinpoint positions and make sure we have everyones numbers, so we can create 'SUPERCAMP'.

Now - where are my bongos?*

*The of course Tea fans is a JOKE, in fact it is illegal** to take noisy instruments to a festival
**Not strictly true.

The ultimate portaloo

2008-07-14T11:37:00.004+01:00

Following on from my brothers comment on my traveljohn post the other day, he has pointed this out to me.

Never mind the product, but how nice is the design? Someone really cared about that a boxful of crap looked good.

I like that.

Design shouldn't be elitist.

Tea Shop Diaries Review

2008-07-14T11:28:00.002+01:00

Tea fans, the first review is in and the verdict is this:

"most amusing except for the swear words" - Dad, 2008.

Yep, the old man has got wind of the Tea blog and I have already been berated for my language. (sorry dad :-) I checked and as far as I can see there is only one bugger and a f**k *

So from now on, the policy on swearing is this:

No unasterisked F**ks or c**ts

Only heavily monitored use of shits, buggers.

All colloquialisms are at my discretion (nobheads, tossers etc).

This self editing is quite cool, I maybe should have done this ages ago. I might have to depend on my grasp of the English language to express myself now - so basically I'm f**ked.

Oops.

*notice is has been amended to ****'s.

No sleep till... well who knows.

2008-07-14T09:16:00.004+01:00

So Tea fans will be aware that I have been struggling with my sleep because of a bad back and tingly feet.

Well last night I decided to wile away the early hours of the morning, by wondering what job I could do that would benefit the most from my new nocturnal habits. Here is the list so far:

Milklady (inspired by the sounds of the milkman I hear every day now).

Breakfast TV presenter - sleep lunch till tea.

Breakfast DJ - ditto.

Taxi Driver - not keen as this idea.

Postman - although round here, they keep normal hours.

Factory shift worker - although not keen on factories after the cereal experience.

Late night Graphic Designer - this one is looking like the favourite so far - although I have already changed my hours to 9-5.

Hmm perhaps I need another rethink.

Adventures in Supermarketing

2008-07-13T11:23:00.002+01:00

Asda at Sport City is like a parallel universe. FACT.

Randomness seen yesterday was:

1. Couple using french sticks like swords fighting in the car park

2. 3 x staff members walking down the aisle like Reservoir Dogs with not a forward looking eye between them.

3. Old woman with hair like a cloud, sunken eyes and more goth make up on than Newt from Hollyoaks.

4. Fat baby chewing on a Bourbon.

5. Very fat, very short couple arguing in the pot noodle aisle.*

6. Woman on till commenting on every single item of our shopping as she scanned it.

The should do an episode of Doctor Who there, but no one would believe it.

*Admittedly we were in the pot noodle aisle BUT we are going to a festival this week.

Delphic - the future sound of music

2008-07-12T13:18:00.006+01:00

Finally, managed to get to see the latest incarnation of Al's* mates band last night and Chorlton Irish Club/wedding reception venue of the year 1974, and wow, what a far cry from the covers band that played at his 30th birthday. Well, they were never a covers band, but they played covers at his party, you know, for the universal appeal. (We nicked their wigs, left them in Woosey's fridge and she had to return them sheepishly on the Monday in work).

Anyway, their most recent enterprise is the most exciting yet and last night they played a blinder - which is good, coz half the music industry was there.**

Do the right thing for once and check them out here and then watch this space [ ] whilst wholeheartedly supporting their live gigs.

It also looks like a new supergroup might emerge from the design/marketing aswell, so watch this second space [ ].

*Big Al.

** Allegedly.

52.4118

2008-07-11T13:45:00.005+01:00

My age? Not quite that number.
The hours I spend per week staring out the window? Probably a lot more.
The amount of pints I drink a year. Easily.

Actually, far more boring than that, its the latitude of Latitude Festival. For which our tickets came today (phew) and for which I can't wait, though it might be a bit of a wash out. Who cares? Music/Comedy/Theatre/great friends/great outdoors/Great God above, is it only next week ---- but we haven't even started a list!

Oh well, list so far is: wellies, wetwipes, suncream, herbal remedies, booze, bog roll, beds, tent. Have I forgotten anything? No doubt we will take WAY more than this, but essentially, this is all you need. I'm a bit worried about having to use portaloos again after the luxury of the farm toilets at glastonbury, but needs must and if you gotta go, you gotta go. Ew.

Lucky for matt, I don't think I have any need for these this time:

which disgusted Matt,but was a Godsend in the middle of a muddy night, at least 10 mins from any loos. Highly recommended.
Although now I have my sights on something a little more grand, check out this baby

Full on private disposable toilet tent!!!

Get in!!! (not literally!)

Crack House

2008-07-10T15:30:00.003+01:00

Thats where I have been today for the second time, its becoming a bit of a habit. Ok ok, not a crack house in the Amy Crackhouse sense of the work - but a chiropractor. I finally decided that 4 months of back pain is probably enough and took myself to the doctor. And after a swift consultation where it was decided that they could do bugger all, I took my life into my own hands and headed across the road to the Chiropractors.

I didn't have much time to back down as they had a cancellation so in I went and within an hour, my bottom joints in my spine had begun their journey back round from whence they came (ie. they were twisted and now they are being sent back to their correct place).

I hold Josie totally responsible for this as she was the one who psyched me out on the ski lift in March by saying 'you see, you never know what its going to be like when you get off' approximately 5 seconds before this information changed to 'you're gonna fall'...you're gonna FALL' in my brain and sent me hurtling off the ski lift and onto my bindings - arse first - hard. Apparently, this could have been the straw that broke the Lynda's back - literally - and has probably made worse something that was already a problem.

The good news is, seeing as I left it so long, I get to go for a lot longer than your average person whilst they try and correct it. AND I get to not sleep and be in pain as all my nerves are being set free, so they are having a 24 hr pain fest to celebrate.

So camping should be good next week then :-)

No One (Not even the Rain)...*

2008-07-08T12:58:00.007+01:00

Could stop the Charlatans from rocking the outside of Marks and Spencers yesterday in an impromptu busking performance for the Culture Show.

When I say impromptu, I really mean organised to the finest detail.

But nothing could stop me from going and seeing the Best Band in the World (fact) performing about 8 feet from me which hasn't happened since 1995.

They managed a cool 4 song set, the first one of which Tims mike didn't seem to be plugged in so more of a rare instrumental! The last being a rousing The Only One I Know (of course) before the heavens really opened and let rip.

Genius.

*clever Charlatans song reference.

Hey Fever, get outta my my nose...

2008-07-07T13:10:00.005+01:00

Spotted this little gem on the window of the Chinese Medicine Centre in Chorlton, during the Beech Road Festival yesterday. I couldn't help but take a sneaky pic, but on my way back the other way I noticed it had gone.

I didn't get my name written in Chinese after that, for fear that I would forever be displaying a sign that said 'f**k you'.

Two for the price of Two

2008-07-07T13:05:00.005+01:00

Was dinner-ing at Kro Piccadilly the other day and saw this on the menu. (Click to enlarge).

Side salad or chips for £1.00 each - or both for £2.00. Genius. Either they think thats a bargain, or they think we are thick.

Is there a Doctor in the house?

2008-07-06T13:12:00.002+01:00

YAY! And his name is still Mr Tennants Extra. Despite Billie Pipers new found rasping lisp and strange boggle eyes throughout - the last episode of this series was great. Even though the plot made my eyes bleed as I tried to follow it. Regenerating into a 'spare' hand the doctor manages to clone himself into a half timelord/half human when Donna touches the tupperware* he is keeping said hand in. Because of a big word Donna then becomes a hu-lord too and manages to save the earth, whilst Doc 1 and Doc 2 are incapacitated by ~~Jade Goody~~ Davros.

Because there can't be a hu-lord/torchwood can't feature in Doctor Who all the time/there can't be a Doc 2/Billie Piper has to go and get more work on her teeth he then has to drop everyone off at various locations in London/Cardiff/parallel universe. So looks like Mickey is going to join Torchwood/Billie is going to live happily ever after with Doc 2 in parallel universe with her mum and Donna Noble has to be returned to Bernard Cribbins and have her memory erased so that her brain doesn't explode with timelord knowledge. Got it? Good.

So who will be the next companion, talk is of Dirvla Kirwan who appeared in a Xmas special.

If it is I might have to gouge my eyes out and replace them with pickled onions.

*space tupperware, obviously

Nutter of the Day #2

2008-07-04T11:11:00.004+01:00

There are a few nutters around today peeps, take it easy out there

There's a new burger joint in Beirut, Buns and Guns. Its logo is a burger and a gun, and the sandwiches are named after weapons and explosives. Owner Ali Hammoud says "It's just an idea I had, nothing more, nothing less I could have put toys in place of the sandbags and teddy bears instead of guns". The chefs wear fatigues and serve the food in camouflaged paper. And the background music? The sound of explosions and gunfire.

NEW FEATURE - Nutter of the Day #1

2008-07-04T10:55:00.002+01:00

One wheel short of a mountain biker....

Doctor Who will be the 11th? GEEK WARNING

2008-07-04T10:14:00.004+01:00

Yeah I know. But spending my formative years with my dad - who despite his sensible career as a doctor himself (though not as a time lord unfortunately) is as mad as a hatter - means that I have grown up on a rich televisual diet of hospital dramas (st elsewhere/casualty/ER/any hospital drama) and sci-fi ~~documentaries~~ stories (Dr Who/Babylon Zoo (or 5 or whatever)/Deep Space 9/Blakes Seven/Buck Rogers/StarTrek/any offshoot of any of them).

So with this in mind, is it any wonder that I am totally and unashamedly hooked on Doctor Who since Russell T Davies got his midas hands on it. And Torchwood, which I only discovered this past series. But not the Sarah Jane Adventures, I draw the line there. She's weird.

And as the last part of this series ends tomorrow, I have been scouring the internet for clues as to whether the Doctor will actually regenerate like he started to last Saturday. Just so I can completely ruin the surprise for myself tomorrow.

Anyway, seems like Holy Moly have it down to three people - John Simm (don't think I could take the excitement if that happened) Harry Lloyd (who played Will Scarlett in Robin Hood) or Aidan Gillen - from Queer as Folk and apparently the Wire, the best programme on telly.*

So, only a few hours till we find out. I hope David Tennants Extra stays he has been my fave doctor ever. But I guess maybe now is the time for him to move onto other projects in the vain attempt to talk about something other than Doctor Who when he promotes them on BBC Breakfast. Talk about obsessed.

* apparently. Watch this space for my review once Matt gets a copy** off someone.

** Not an illegal copy of course***.

***maybe.

Don't take drugs kids.

2008-07-03T16:36:00.003+01:00

JD pointed me in the direction of this fab videocam from the mounted police at Glastonbury Festival. Check out poncho timer - best 70 seconds that dude has ever spent.

Nísa to see you, to see you Nísa?

2008-07-03T13:11:00.004+01:00

I guessed it wouldn't be too long before this became a vent for my rage. Apologies in advance.

We have a local shop, it used to be a Londis, now its a Nísa (accent very important) - I don't know what the difference is, seeing as the same people own/work in it, maybe its a cheaper franchise. Annnnnnywayyyy, we use it quite alot for bits and bobs and after about 5 and at the weekends its a lovely friendly local shop, with staff who say hello/smile/say goodbye - a rare gem you might think. Not so during the day. Oh no, during the day - if you manage to negotiate your way around the box/staff slalom they create in each aisle or the gaping stockroom trapdoor near the chocolate, and if you can avoid the withering looks that one particular member of staff gives all the customers (you know who you are) - you are greeted at the till by complete indifference. Thats if they bother coming off the phone to serve you.

So its officially, the Jekyll and Hyde shop. Day - awful, night - fab. Which makes it hard because you can't boycott somewhere 50%.

Whatever happened to customer service?